Tag Archives: life

Nearly Halloween

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Halloween is five days away and it’s still mid to high 80’s temperature wise. It does not feel very fall-like outside of the grocery store. There are pumpkins and pumpkin-flavored everything to choose from but the weather makes it hard to believe Autumn is here. On a positive note, the projected weather for the first week of November is all in the 70’s (granted it’s higher 70’s.)

What do you all do for Halloween? I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about it as an adult. My parents didn’t want my brother and I to do anything that contributed to the holiday growing up but I find that a lot of the fun is not rooted in wickedness as much as that’s how some people try to push it. Spine tingling origin stories and rumors of ritualistic sacrifice and the like…when most of what happens is kids celebrating an event to dress up and eat lots of candy… Needless to say, I think there was a little resentment based on childhood and I’m moving on and trying to make the most out of it now. I don’t feel the need to go all out or attend any parties, but I’m not turning off all my lights and grumping.

My mission this year is to find a copy of Hocus Pocus and finally watch it. Usually when I bring that up, people gasp quite audibly. Haha!

I had an event yesterday but was hoping to be involved in my church’s trunk or treat event. It turns out that they were low on cars and my brother and his wife signed up last minute but since they are incredibly busy, I put this backdrop together for them.

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My boyfriend plays pool and a local billiards place is hosting a free pool day the night before halloween. There’s a costume contest and lots of goodies included. I told him if we dressed up, it would be funny to be the Woking Dead. A play on words is always fun. Two zombies who own a Chinese restaurant, anyone? Tasty brains, no MSG. 😉

Life Happenings: Moving, Bible Journaling, Organizing

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The move is over! It’s crazy how arduous an in-town move can be. It didn’t help that I was sick and lacking sleep. On Saturday, I had a great set of helpers and we got a majority of the larger items moved via a uHaul truck. On Sunday, we tackled the “small stuff” and boy did we have a lot of small to sweat! My roommate and I went over bright and early and I quickly realized how much we’ve accumulated. She was a dear and let me concentrate on my room while she packed up the entire kitchen. Because of our change in living situations, she has to be more conservative of what she could take so I’ve got a lot of stuff packed under my name that we shared to sort through and donate.

Around 2pm, we realized that it was more than we could handle. My mom offered to come help and I realize now that she did a majority of the wiping down/vacuuming/sweeping/etc for us! So grateful for her help! Our knees and legs were also giving out so around 4pm we rallied up my brother and his friend. I don’t think I can ever live in a second story again! After two upstairs dwellings, this moving process was killer. I’m so done. I’m pretty sure I did about 50 trips or more total in three days up two sets of stairs and a third small set. Jello legs for days.

I never did get to belongings outside of clothing for the KonMari process, so I am taking the unpacking time to use the method to settle that. I still have WAY. TOO. MUCH. Even with paring down clothes, I realize I have too many still. KonMari requires you to tidy with a plan. What are my dreams? To be flexible and not be weighed down to belongings so when opportunities arise, I can take them. To keep messes minimal so I can be emotionally and mentally focused on creating and learning for career and personal development. So yes, that means much less.

On a fun note, I recently discovered bible art journaling and as I was searching for something that would encourage me in devotionals and keep my creative streak, I am so excited to start! The last few years the Bible has become newly refreshing to me. It’s like I’m seeing it with a brand new pair of eyes. Now I can note all I’m learning with not only words but pictures.

Life is Precious – Treat it as So

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This has been an emotionally rough week. One family lost their precious girl to Leukemia. She won her first battle, but her second took her home to Jesus. She was pushing along but had difficulty understanding everything and lost her appetite. It seemed wrong to wake up and hear that she passed as she was such a fighter. The other heartbreaking factor being that this month is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

My best friend’s grandpa also passed. He was also beating the odds despite many problems but took a fall that sent him downhill fast. We all prayed he’d pass peacefully and God answered that by taking him in his sleep. My parents were able to visit before his decline but unfortunately I wasn’t. She had a terrible gut feeling that things would happen near her birthday. It just happens that the memorial will fall on her thirtieth. It will be awfully bittersweet to see her as three years have passed but I know how special it will be to stay by her side through the service for emotional support, and how nice it will be to take time to celebrate her birthday and this new decade of life.

It’s in fleeting moments like these that I’m reminded how my days are numbered and to never miss chances with anyone. My time and other people’s time is precious. And time with others is a gift.

New Book!

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I know I know… I still owe you guys a review on The Best Yes. But, this is my current read and one that comes at a great time since I’m in the middle of purging and organizing for a move. 11781896_10153298164403855_4457894800438684343_n
 I’m only 30 or so pages in but I’ve already had one good thing come out of it. Yesterday I decided to redeem a peel off at a fast food chain and coupled that with a coffee and sat down to read. A little later a man sat down a few tables away and opened up what looked like a Bible. The pages were tattered and torn. Part of his reading was a section that fell out and he brought it up close to his face to read it and gingerly turn the page.

Just minutes before I thought about the whole spark joy thing and how horrible it was that I had “stocked up” on Bibles like it was a novelty when God’s word is so special and could be shared with others. And here was a man who loved his Bible and possibly needed a new one.

I read some more and finished my coffee and walked over.

“It’s refreshing to see you reading your Bible in public” I said.

“Amen. Are you a follower of Christ?” He asked.

We probably chatted for about 15 minutes. I found out where he fellowshipped and what he considers his ministry and asked him to tell me more about his Bible. I told him many Bibles in that condition are because they are well loved and consequently well used. I told him I felt led to give him a bible and he said he would take it.

Now, this Bible wasn’t the best bible out there. It’s small and travel sized but the full old and new testament in a great easy to understand translation. And while I don’t think his studying Bible will change, it may be a tool for what he likes to do. He likes to talk to people and go door to door and ask people if they need help with anything around the house or need prayer. And a travel size Bible with all its pages in tact would be great for that. 🙂

I’m grateful that God orchestrated that little meeting, and that my little Bible, often neglected and sitting in my trunk, can now “spark joy” in his life.

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

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Something Borrowed:

A realiable gps with newer maps guides the way
The “dumb phone” lent to me since my cellphone broke

Something Blue:

Not being happy with how big I look in some of the pictures that were taken
The tee from the aquarium that fit me just right even though I was worried
The ocean as we drove around the coast
The unplanned color of most of the family’s dresses for the wedding
The feeling I get as I leave the airport knowing it will be a full year or more until I see my friend again

Something old:

The feeling of my legs after lots of walking
A favorite vacation spot
Em dancing with her son-in-law at the wedding at the ripe but lively age of 99
Remembering and retracing steps around a favorite aquarium
The San Francisco Bridge
The cells of Alcatraz
The photos at the memory table displaying loved ones gone to be with Him
Trying to recall how many years we’ve been friends and no coming up with a solid number
Familiar faces of friends and family gathered to celebrate a union
Relearning T9 text until my new phone arrives
My mom’s friend gifts a beautiful gilded hair barrette for me to wear as sister of the groom

Something New:

Learning that flounder flatten with age and are actually born fully upright
Being in the driver’s seat for a lengthy trip
A sister-in-law (finally!)
The first person in our cousin group gets married
My brother and his wife are now moved into a different city
My parents’ nest is now empty
A glass cup, pencil, pins, and a tee shirt for souvenirs
Having my best friend spend the night in a home of my own
Viewing the only albatross in captivity in the world (she is unable to be released)

Above are the snippets of a very full wedding week and quick vacation. Feeling refreshed.

Closer

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“So are you guys close?”

There have been three questions I’ve heard on repeat since my brother got engaged.

1. “Ohh, will you be a bridesmaid?!” (No.)
2. “So, when is it your turn?” (Oh, bug off… This is not about me.)
3. “So are you guys close?”

Sometimes it’s a “How do you two get along?”

And the answer to the third question is tough. Am I close to my future sister-in-law? I’ve know her for about as long as my brother’s dated her. Six years. We know quite a bit about each other. But, in those six years she’s been off to college, then out of country for her job, and I moved out of my parents. I haven’t seen or spent much time alone with her. Which is not what I expected. I expected my future sis to reflect Nathan’s personality completely: sometimes loud, often funny, very outgoing, and a big conversation starter. Which is she not. She is complimentary to him and unique. Her replies are often diplomatic and carefully spoken before opinionated and sarcastic. I basically put all these expectations on my future sister in law and found out she wasn’t what I planned but is everything I wanted. But you know, I expected us to magically be BFFs since day 1.

She loves my family. She genuinely cares about all of us. Even the family dog.  She loves my brother wholeheartedly. They are totally devoted to each other. I admire how both have grown and planned for their upcoming big day. They’ve endured rough times and know how to resolve quarrels lovingly. Seriously, no one could be more perfect. And she helps challenge areas where he needs change.  She brings new perspective and ideas. She is brilliant and self motivated and I love that. I admire her resourceful nature and gravitate towards her ideas and am inspired. What more could you want in someone marrying your brother?

Wedding planning and all the life events leading up have given us more time together. Through all the planning before the wedding day, I’ve gotten some precious candid moments with her. Times where we joke together, conspire to bake brownies, just talk about our day, and do little things. And in those moments I realize how she’s evolved since day one and how our relationship has grown. How we’re more open with each other about big things but also able to chit chat and be comfortable in each other’s presence. And I realize we are getting there. We are closer. And I have all their married years to  grow even closer. To finally say, “Yes. We’re close.”

Eleven Greeting Cards

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The Breakdown:

Mother’s Day card: 1
You’re Just like a Mom to Me card: 1
Graduation cards: 3
Wedding shower card: 1
Wedding card: 1
Birthday Cards: 3
I’m Praying, Keep Being Strong card: 1
_____________________________________
May events with cards : 11
The Feels: Priceless

I’ve got a lot happening very soon. I’m sorry if I fall off the blogging radar for a while! My brother (who is one of the graduates) is getting married this month and that is one of the apexes of the month (who am I kidding, year!) The other really awesome event is what I’ve dubbed “friend christmas”. I have a bestie that most years can make a trip out to our hometown and it’s like Christmas day waiting for our annual get together! She’ll be at the wedding and then we have a girlfriend trip which I’m really looking forward to.

Friends and bloggers that pray, please keep my friend and her family in prayer. They’ve dealt with a lot the last few years including a big move states away. After finding a place of their own last year, they found a horrible mold issue that gave the family respiratory issues. The complex they are at denies their proof and because of their “pestering” they’ve denied them the option to renew their lease. The family of 5 need to be out by the end of their month. They are only able to afford a 2 bedroom apartment but most places will not make an exception of more than 2 to a room, even if they are little children. They need to find a place willing to work with them on pricing for a 3 bedroom or that will allow the boys to bunk all together in one room. She’s beyond stressed by hopeful that God’s got the details. She’s my keep being strong card.

How about you? Any fun things happening this month?

Purging Update

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This is taking much more effort than I thought. I think I like “stuff” too much.

Clothes given to friends: 5
Clothes in a box to be donated: 37
Bags of trash: 3

I still have a lot to do. I’m finding I’m a hoarder. I find safety in numbers and buy things in BOGO sales and hardly find myself using products until the bottle is empty. Take for example the Victoria Secret sprays I’ve had since college….why are they still around? And when did I truly need to buy 5 all at once? Makeup too…if I’m honest I only rotate through 10 items and have a lot of junk I never use. That’s going to go. Office supplies? Art Supplies? Those items are dangerous. I’ve got a problem with having too much but conversely, buying those items on sale is crucial otherwise they can cost me significantly more.

Goals for this week:

1. Clear the laundry baskets that are perpetually full of folded clothes. I either have space to hang them or they’re not worth keeping.

2. Organize my office and art supplies so they can be kept in one area neatly in sterilite drawers.

3. Weed out accessories. Yeah Claires earrings with animals, I’m talking about you. Yeah green tinted cheap stuff I shouldn’t be wearing around my neck or putting in my ears, I’m talking to you.

4. Work on putting things away immediately.

Taking time today to finish my Lysa TerKeurst book! Review coming soon.

Redefining and Refining

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I’ve got quite a bit of downsizing and organizing ahead of me and as I work out what is truly worth keeping and what really has value, I’ve decided it’s time to refine my style and space a little bit. I have too much stuff, and as horrible as it sounds, stuff often makes one’s life more complicated.

Instead of a closet full of clothes, I have a closet, chest of drawers, and a few laundry baskets full. Do I really need that much? I probably wear about a quarter of it regularly, yet when it’s time to get ready, half my wardrobe lands on my bed as I try this and that.

Boxes of old school work, writing, and drawings. Do I need to keep all of it? I don’t need all my doodles from college.

I tried asking a friend and my boyfriend what my fashion style was to help define my wardrobe and got the worst answers! My friend said, “I don’t know…sometimes you dress American and sometimes you dress Asian.” Umm…okay? My boyfriend said, “I’d say you dress like a grandma.” Painfully true, as I joke about that quite a bit. I’ll take comfort over fashion but I still like to look put together and avoid appearing frumpy.

Here’s what I’ve written down as both those answers hardly help!

Style:
Romantic (Floral prints, lace, soft grey/cream/brown colors)
Royal/bold hues
Comfortable/Casual
Edgy (Ruched items, color block, rock inspired)

Colors:
Black
Red
Royals (Blue/Purple)
Jewel tones (violet, magenta, mint, turquoise, emerald, aqua, teal)

Bedroom Style:
Blues, whites, greys
White/light furniture
Soft or neutral grey
Soft or neutral beige
Blue bedcovers and curtain panels
Metallic or ornate accents

Things to Get Rid of:
Souvenir/one line saying tees. They’re not versatile nor work appropriate. I hardly wear them.
Mismatched/worn out PJs. I’m a lady. I want to look classy even at bedtime.
Old/worn tank tops and undershirts.
Vee necks that tip too low to wear alone. Over it.
The jeans I swear I’ll fit again one day.
Fussy coats and cardigans with iffy buttons. I need stuff that lays nice on my full chest.
Button ups that also don’t lay well or pop open because of my size and chest.
Ugly undies. Again, I’m a grown lady. No more ugly undies. I want to feel refined even if that confidence boost is just for me.

Here goes nothing! 🙂

Weight Discrimination…from Both Sides.

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Opinions from outside:

A lovely lady whom I look up to for her natural health knowledge wrote a beautiful article about weight discrimination happening to someone they love. It was really dear to my heart because it is written so thoroughly and from an outside perspective.

Opinions from Inside:

Yesterday I was at a bachelorette party and realized that while I’ve worked very hard at accepting myself and having body peace, I was still being critical of self. The rest of the girls at the party were typical sizes and I was the only plus size girl. I wore black slacks and a fun top and ruched jacket over it while everyone else had modest mid thigh black dresses and showed a little leg. First, I felt bad that I might have been underdressed, and two, I didn’t have the fancy heels and club-type apparel like the rest of them. I even spent an unnecessary 10 minutes debating what covered my arms best and realized I shouldn’t have felt ashamed to hide them.

We all carpooled, 5 of us total, in one car. And that’s where my self-discrimination started setting in. I panicked for a second wondering if they’d make me sit up front because I’m biggest or if people would complain if I was sitting in the back.

“Bride to be in the front!” The driver called out. She deserved the front passenger seat and they didn’t even think twice about her being up front.

I took a deep breath and slid in the back and tried to pretend I could take up less space. Nobody complained on the ride to our destination or on the way back home. Nobody called out my black slacks instead of dress. Nobody questioned my kitten heels when everyone else had stilettos. They treated me kindly. I was my worst offender.

Sometimes we are the worst discriminator. We make our weight a big deal when it’s not. I know this is something I need to work on. Yes, I am conscious that I take up more space, but I shouldn’t make it a bigger deal than it is. I rob my own joy when I self-consciously think about myself as being fat when I should be enjoying my time around others.

When the night ended, I was grateful that nobody made my size a big deal, and that I needed to worry about it less. I should reinvest those thoughts into encouraging reasons to exercise and eat right, if anything. And in hindsight, I wore kitten heels because I knew they’d be cute but comfortable with my top, and WE DID do a lot of walking and standing. I would have hated myself if I wore anything taller. And, I wanted to wear pants because I wasn’t in the mood to wear a dress. So, lesson learned. Be content of self. Have a good time. Don’t fret the details. Be grateful for people who see you as a person, not a large person, and treat you like everyone else. 🙂