Something I’ve learned through various relocating in the past 5 years that is still ringing true is that some practical dreams need to planned out in reality. Don’t get me wrong, there should always be some shoot for the stars type dreams in one’s arsenal, but when it deals with home decorating and living space, a true vision and careful thought process is quintessential. “Measure a ten times, cut once” – because measuring twice still hasn’t been enough.

My parents recently bought a sectional after dreaming about a new couch for ages. I helped them sell their old ones, they spoke greatly of the one to come, and then it finally came and was not ideal at all. Did you know there is a way to make microfiber look like synthetic leather? Yeah, I didn’t either. And apparently, neither did my parents. They were thinking a soft to the touch material. They also measured out the entirety of their living room only to find that while the new sectional fit, it swallowed the room whole. My tiny little mother looks like an ant on the behemoth.

Similarly, I get a bit starry eyed and hasty when it comes to home furnishings and organizational items. I’m also a magpie of a person, desiring whatever catches light to my eyes. I plotted out a closet and had it built from scratch only to find the high shelving I added on doesn’t do me much good and my super average height means I must tippy toe to hang things on the closet rods. Did I maximize space? Yes. Was it practical in the long run? Not really…

I’ve contemplated buying a smaller new/used desk to replace my current desk and I’m just a little too sobered by my not-so-successful plans to move forward with it. I also don’t want to be frivolously spending on bigger ticket items just to deal with reselling or moving things out of the way over and over.

I glance around my room and I still own too much. The too much being a weight that could prevent me from my best potential. I recently took a picture of a tinted lip gloss as a memorial to committing something and following all the way through. I used it up last friday, to the last little bit, and it made me feel good. My whole life I’ve very rarely used up my art supplies, makeup, lotions, or nail polishes to the point of them being truly empty. I leave them sitting there and occasionally grab things, sometimes finding in dismay that I’m discarding it due to an expiration date.

Maybe I preoccupy too much time and energy on the idea of newness and adding instead of finishing and fully enjoying. It’s something I’m still trying to figure out about myself as I practice mindfulness.

So in the meantime, that desk in question can wait, and I am freeing myself up from the excessive belongings, because that’s where I need to start. The farther I dig into this literal mess, the more I see how cloudy the inside of me is. I am a lot of ideas in waiting and not a lot of seeing things all the way through. But I’m working on it.

I know people may disagree but I find Pokemon Go to be an AWESOME thing and I just joined the bandwagon last week. I’ve caught over 50 pokemon and leveled up to 7 and joined Team Mystic!

I keep reading all these stories about it helping people leave their homes, socialize, and be inclusive of those society may not be as connected with. Things like how the United States alone has walked 2 million miles collectively in their poke-pursuits and stories of children with Autism and Aspergers connecting to others on the playground in ways they hadn’t before. People with depression are finding comfort in gaming, people with no motivation to exercise are moving and walking great lengths. So yeah, I’m pro Go!

In other news, I’ve Konmari’d a good 20% of the house at this point which is me productively avoiding progress in my room. Last week was a bit crazy with the living room remodel coming to a screeching halt with a sectional that is deceivingly “microfiber” but synthetic leather. Basically, there was a mix up in the definition of microfiber and my parents were duped into getting a synthetic leather couch made of microfiber material when they told the furniture people they did not want a leather type couch. Fingers crossed that is resolved today in our favor since the business they bought it from has stringent return policies.

It was an honest mistake but it also shows me my parents are getting older and while they are still very capable people, sales people and others may try to take advantage of them or they may not necessarily rationalize things correctly. To be fair, the average person wouldn’t have been so trusting and would have maybe asked the sales floor guy to do some more explaining. But, in my parent’s minds, microfiber is a soft fabric type material, they didn’t understand that a material can be transformed by heat and embossing to look much different. It’s a mess, and it’s something my brother and I have stepped up to try to help resolve. Their heart and my brother and mine, we all hope for the best and hope our attitudes reflect Christ in all of this, as we do wish to get an exchange worked out, but still wish to explain our situation fairly.

To end on a happier note, I have a theme picked out for my SIL’s baby shower, and hopefully invites will go out tomorrow!

In my heart of hearts, I know that I thrive under creative environments where I need to problem solve, bring new light, or add an aesthetic an an idea so that words and pictures cohesively communicate more than what’s there.

There are many days I shake my head and wonder why I’m not where I want to be yet, but then I see that what I do, I truly do love. I just am not ideally compensated for it yet. My career fulfills my basic financial needs AND grows me as a businesswoman, I just need to make my potential and my paycheck soar.

In that vein of thinking, there are two ways to solve this problem ; abandon what intrinsically makes you thrive for what makes you a better living, or keep finding ways to make what thrives you work to a sound income.

I’m aware now that doubting myself does not make for a better outcome in either area. I need to fuel my potential and keep my eyes open to opportunity, that’s all.

I am good enough, and if I’m not there yet, I will get there. I can’t let go of what gives me purpose in search of something else. So, how hard am I going to work to get where I want to be?