Category Archives: Millenial Musings

Be Careful What You Ask For

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Sometimes you whisper things to God, half afraid, but trusting. And of course, God hears.

So of course, when I whispered, “Lord, am I trusting you fully to take care of me?”

He let me know. 

My church does first fruits which is a sacrificial giving above and beyond regular tithe near Thanksgiving. No one is pressured into it; it’s personal and from the heart. The week before, I got my dates mixed up and wrote out my big check. It felt good. I wasn’t sweating it. Then I realized it was for next week and tucked it away and wrote a check for that week’s offering.

Flash forward to the *next day*. I woke up that Monday, stuck my keys in my car, and noticed shiny glass pieces all over my dash, all throughout my car, and followed it to the smashed back window. That morning, I was offered a ride to work. That night, my boyfriend brought over his Dad’s shop vac and spent a solid hour and a half after work helping me get all the glass bits out. Wednesday, I spent half the day waiting for the repair truck to fit a new rear window and swiped a few hundred dollars away with a card and signature for the fix.

I was so upset. Why did the vandals target my car?  Three cars in the neighborhood got smashed and mine happened to be one of them. And my car insurance wasn’t going to cover a dime, even with the police report because it was under my $500 deductible…

That Sunday was first fruits. I sat with the check in my purse, knowing rent was due the following week and I was about to give a big check after spending a good chunk of money on that window repair. And I was behind on my credit card payment. And Christmas was coming up.

So many sinking feelings. So many things that needed money. But that check was God’s.

The offering basket was a couple passes away. I cleared my mind maybe not fully trusting, but trying to, and acknowledged as I placed it in,

This was already yours, God. Before the circumstances. I know you’ll take care of me.

Money. The future. Security. Those are things I’m not fully trusting of. But with that check in the basket, I began to let go, so I could let God.

Redefining and Refining

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I’ve got quite a bit of downsizing and organizing ahead of me and as I work out what is truly worth keeping and what really has value, I’ve decided it’s time to refine my style and space a little bit. I have too much stuff, and as horrible as it sounds, stuff often makes one’s life more complicated.

Instead of a closet full of clothes, I have a closet, chest of drawers, and a few laundry baskets full. Do I really need that much? I probably wear about a quarter of it regularly, yet when it’s time to get ready, half my wardrobe lands on my bed as I try this and that.

Boxes of old school work, writing, and drawings. Do I need to keep all of it? I don’t need all my doodles from college.

I tried asking a friend and my boyfriend what my fashion style was to help define my wardrobe and got the worst answers! My friend said, “I don’t know…sometimes you dress American and sometimes you dress Asian.” Umm…okay? My boyfriend said, “I’d say you dress like a grandma.” Painfully true, as I joke about that quite a bit. I’ll take comfort over fashion but I still like to look put together and avoid appearing frumpy.

Here’s what I’ve written down as both those answers hardly help!

Style:
Romantic (Floral prints, lace, soft grey/cream/brown colors)
Royal/bold hues
Comfortable/Casual
Edgy (Ruched items, color block, rock inspired)

Colors:
Black
Red
Royals (Blue/Purple)
Jewel tones (violet, magenta, mint, turquoise, emerald, aqua, teal)

Bedroom Style:
Blues, whites, greys
White/light furniture
Soft or neutral grey
Soft or neutral beige
Blue bedcovers and curtain panels
Metallic or ornate accents

Things to Get Rid of:
Souvenir/one line saying tees. They’re not versatile nor work appropriate. I hardly wear them.
Mismatched/worn out PJs. I’m a lady. I want to look classy even at bedtime.
Old/worn tank tops and undershirts.
Vee necks that tip too low to wear alone. Over it.
The jeans I swear I’ll fit again one day.
Fussy coats and cardigans with iffy buttons. I need stuff that lays nice on my full chest.
Button ups that also don’t lay well or pop open because of my size and chest.
Ugly undies. Again, I’m a grown lady. No more ugly undies. I want to feel refined even if that confidence boost is just for me.

Here goes nothing! 🙂

Keeping Faith

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One of the biggest transitions into adulthood was owning my faith. After years of sunday school, church attendance, and godly upbringing, I could choose to stay or stray.

I quickly learned upon examination and stepping away from trusting what others have said/preached, that I was forming opinions of my own. I have the Holy Spirit and scriptures to lead me. The point was not to leave it up to my personal interpretation but to validate what scripture says. I realized I had taken many people’s words and opinions as truth, and some of the opinions I formed were NOT pleasing to God.

I don’t question my faith because I don’t trust, I question my faith to build on what I know and believe.

I left the church I attended in my youth knowing that I wasn’t growing (not to say it was a place that didn’t preach the gospel) and still don’t feel totally acclimated to my new church home, but I know that I’m not leaning on my own comforts and that moving forward requires effort – hard effort.

As a quarter-lifer, I look around the church and realize that I’m a dying breed and wonder why. What is the world or the church doing that leads people my age to leave? I feel alone sometimes. The last ladies event I attended had three people in a room of 100+ women that were under 30.

I also look around and realize that the closer I creep to 30, the less I see other unmarried ladies. It’s a given most people will marry at one point in their life. Many of my friends have gotten married and started families and the couples classes and family-based sunday school, Bible study, and small group crowds tend to welcome and plug in families better than single units. I just want to say to the world of single Christian ladies, I see you. I see you as an adult and your own person. Whether you attend church with your family, or sibling, or boyfriend or just attend by yourself. I also know what it’s like, and I think it’s awesome that you’re pressing on despite possible frustrations because our “group” grows smaller. I can’t promise we’ll all get married and have families or have single ladies group to hang out with through the church. But I can promise that we’re equally important to God and we are called to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together.

Milestones and Ages

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Last week my painting instructor congratulated me on my birthday and added how I am “smart” and have accomplished quite a bit. She also mentioned that it was smart to hold off on being married and starting a family. She expressed how she loved that time of her life and would never feel bad for having her children early, but how she had been quick to marry her first husband.

I could tell by how she said it that she meant well, and so I politely said thank you. But I also made sure to tell her that I feel we hit milestones at different times, and shouldn’t feel like age is one of the biggest factors for life experiences and quality of life.

What I didn’t tell her is that I have never been the gal that boys made eyes at, or who pined for a relationship and plastered teen heartthrobs on my wall. I didn’t have a high school sweetheart, and I managed to get through college without a proposal. That opportunity for me to marry “young” never existed! And if it did, who’s to say I wouldn’t have changed the course of my life if I felt it was right?

I’m in a lovely relationship but while we have discussed future plans from time to time, marriage is not in our near future. My younger brother though, is months away from walking down the aisle. Should I feel jealous? Should I envy that he beat me to that milestone? Of course not!

We make our own milestones, and in our own time. That’s what makes them most memorable. If I compare my life to someone else’s I rob the joys of my personal plans and pursuits. Milestones are not mandatory objectives, they are moments we get to cherish as we go through life. 🙂

-Laura

Communicating Hurt

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I recently had a spat with a lifetime friend and we both were very wounded over what would seem petty to the world.

As an introvert and grand internalizer, I had over thought and over burdened myself with something that became a sore spot. Afraid to hurt her, I repressed previous hurts and tried to deter the course of some teasing with half-hearted blocks like “Don’t be mean…” “Oh, bug off.”

Long story short, we hashed through it and were both wrong in different areas. What I needed to learn was to be direct. Instead of fending off my wounded self, I should of told her plainly, “Stop. This bothers me.”

She expected me to see her teasing as lighthearted but the constant mockery took its toll. I had been indirect and let myself blow up after not handling her words well. Since she felt her words were innocent she was also confused and hurt. Truly, it was a simple misunderstanding.

The beauty of direct communication is not having to read between the lines. We’ve agreed upon a few things to help our relationship grow and to get past this little rut.

Me:
– I am more sensitive than she made me out to be
– I do not speak up about things when I need to so I need to work on it
– I need to watch what is done when I reach a point of anger so there is no regret
– I need to be direct and state how I feel before things go sour

Her:
– She needs to understand I’m sensitive to teasing
– She needs to understand we have very different personalities
– She needs to understand more limited forms of communication like written or typed words do not always reflect tone

I’m hoping this event has helped us prune off some dead leaves so we can flourish again. I’m thankful we’ve worked through it.

Millennials…are we lazy?

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Guy with Question Mark

You’ve probably heard it out of someone’s mouth (if not your parent’s or grandparent’s.) We’re a “lazy” and “entitled” bunch. We’re slow to establish ourselves as adults and in our careers. We are bombarded with complaints and comparisons of “back in my day…” Continue reading →