Last week my painting instructor congratulated me on my birthday and added how I am “smart” and have accomplished quite a bit. She also mentioned that it was smart to hold off on being married and starting a family. She expressed how she loved that time of her life and would never feel bad for having her children early, but how she had been quick to marry her first husband.
I could tell by how she said it that she meant well, and so I politely said thank you. But I also made sure to tell her that I feel we hit milestones at different times, and shouldn’t feel like age is one of the biggest factors for life experiences and quality of life.
What I didn’t tell her is that I have never been the gal that boys made eyes at, or who pined for a relationship and plastered teen heartthrobs on my wall. I didn’t have a high school sweetheart, and I managed to get through college without a proposal. That opportunity for me to marry “young” never existed! And if it did, who’s to say I wouldn’t have changed the course of my life if I felt it was right?
I’m in a lovely relationship but while we have discussed future plans from time to time, marriage is not in our near future. My younger brother though, is months away from walking down the aisle. Should I feel jealous? Should I envy that he beat me to that milestone? Of course not!
We make our own milestones, and in our own time. That’s what makes them most memorable. If I compare my life to someone else’s I rob the joys of my personal plans and pursuits. Milestones are not mandatory objectives, they are moments we get to cherish as we go through life. 🙂