Refocus: Willing and Able

I’ve been harsh on my body lately. Despite many efforts to lose weight recently I haven’t [in fact, I’ve put on a few]. Some of it is from negligence, dealing with trials, and being medically advised to not participate in vigorous exercise until a blood clot was ruled out [which it has, praise God]. And then I went to a theme park and didn’t fit the newest rides and again had to work myself into body image homeostasis again.

 I love and accept my body the best that I can, with a healthy knowledge that aiming for a lower weight is ideal for my health and wellness. 

That’s a hard struggle right there. On one hand, I’m supposed to be content with who I am and on the other hand, I’m supposed to be dissatisfied enough to make changes to who I am. Ideally, I should be able to sort out that intrinsically I am the same person despite weight or appearance, but it’s not quite that easy either.

It’s not the same me when I know I turn down certain activities right now because I feel too fat to join (long hikes, yoga, swimsuit-wearing, bust a dance move)

It’s not the same when I’m constantly fearful of airplane buckles, taking up too much space on a bench, or squeezing through tight rows of tables in a restaurant.

It’s not the same when I edit how I express myself because certain styles hide problem areas better.

In many ways, despite clinging to body positivity, I do feel limited if I’m honest. So, it’s time to reinforce what my body is able to do; right now, at this weight, at this time.

I am loved and able to love (platonically and romantically).

I am powerful. I love the strength I have and plan to work out and keep it. 

I am deserving of respect and dignity. No one can compromise that.

I am able to carry this body and walk and not grow tired. 

I am able to embrace my curves and be fashionable. 

I am able to look in the mirror and smile. 

I am able to try harder at weight loss and fitness. 

I am able to make an impact in the world around me. 

I am able to ground myself when negative body thoughts enter my mind. 

I am able to look back and see progress even if others can’t.

I am able to consider my choices and if they fit my path.

I am willing and able to pursue my goals.

I have and will fall short time to time but it’s time to kick butt again.

You are attractive. Incredibly attractive.

Ladies, when’s the last time you thought about how attractive you are? Are you disgusted or accepting of your image of you? Or perhaps you know you are and love it?

I think in a world that wants us to turn heads with body language and sex appeal, or find approval of ourselves through others’ opinions, it’s important to step back and see your attractiveness in your own eyes.

Look at your body, and think of how incredible it is. You can lose or gain weight to better your health. Your body is able to stretch to grow a baby or flex some mighty muscles. Whether you are tall curvy all over, petite and slender, or some other combination, your form is womanly without trying. Your body is powerful and provocative without ever showing any of it off. Your hair, eye, and skin color? All of that is an awesome combination God picked out for you and is part of what makes you unique. There is a specialness in having your grandmother’s eyes and your dad’s nose.

Think of what you’re attracted to when you’re thinking of your boyfriend or potential date material. What is conventional and what isn’t? More than likely, you don’t just like someone for conventional attractiveness. If the idea of tall, dark, and handsome makes you giggle and roll your eyes, then why do you think you need to be some idealized creature? You probably had non-physical traits in there too, didn’t you? Maybe you like someone with a good sense of humor. Maybe you like someone who is confident and fearless. Maybe you like humbleness or sensitivity. Did you throw in common interests? Maybe they need to be fluent in Marvel and DC comics. Perhaps they need to love pizza as dearly as you do. Did they maybe need to share a sense of adventure for the outdoors? Think of how it is not only the physical traits that make you attracted to others. Think of how others likewise see you as a multifaceted person with interests and passions that also connect you with them. Think of how unique you are and how special it is when there is a common bond.

Let’s take a moment to examine how you project yourself. What do you want to say about you, and how do you want that affecting your allurement? Perhaps you are mindful of your vivacity. You’re loud and animated and you love it and they have to love it too. Or perhaps your passion is spiritual and that is a large priority that you project to potential suitors – they know you are firm in what you believe. Perhaps you are nurturing and you show warmth and care and encourage growth in others and you find that someone with that trait works best so you can be more effective as a couple. Do you consciously put anything out there, looking to find someone that appreciates that projection? Are you aware of how you present yourself to the world? Everyone has something great to project, but sometimes we don’t make it mindful or do so boldly.

Lastly, think of what you personally like about yourself. There is always something, and ideally, there should be many things you can think of because you are truly awesome! Accept that others may think these things are pretty cool too, because more than likely, they do!

You are attractive. You are magnetic to the right people. You have control over what you project. You are worthwhile not because others say so, but because you know so. Don’t ever let self-doubt tell you otherwise. You don’t ever need someone’s approval to know so. Know that you are attractive as you are, outside of other people’s opinions.

You are magnificent and beautiful just being who you are, and being true to that attracts just the right people for you.