Rethinking Words of Comfort in Times of Distress

This entry by Tim Lawrence really got me thinking and I wanted to share it with you:

Everything Doesn’t Happen For A Reason

We’re often told that everything happens for a reason and we shake our heads in halfhearted agreement and take it as a battle wound that betters us. But does that really bring healing? Tim talks about how not all devastation nurtures or brings growth. Sometimes they’re just things we carry.

I truly recommend reading the article but in a nutshell Tim offers words that bring more comfort:

“Instead, the most powerful thing you can do is acknowledge. Literally say the words: 

I acknowledge your pain. I am here with you.

Note that I said with you, not for you. For implies that you’re going to do something. That is not for you to enact. But to stand with your loved one, to suffer with them, to listen to them, to do everything butsomething is incredibly powerful.

There is no greater act than acknowledgment. And acknowledgment requires no training, no special skills, no expertise. It only requires the willingness to be present with a wounded soul, and to stay present, as long as is necessary.

Be there. Only be there. Do not leave when you feel uncomfortable or when you feel like you’re not doing anything. In fact, it is when you feel uncomfortable and like you’re not doing anything that you must stay.

Because it is in those places—in the shadows of horror we rarely allow ourselves to enter—where the beginnings of healing are found. This healing is found when we have others who are willing to enter that space alongside us. Every grieving person on earth needs these people.

Thus I beg you, I plead with you, to be one of these people.

You are more needed than you will ever know. “

What are your thoughts?

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