Props if you know the literary reference, which is a favorite book of mine. I’ve let this blog go for so long, and with some very important life changes happening in the process. My therapist has encouraged that I get back to it, and use it for healing and unwinding the inner workings of my brain. I’ve changed my name to Thirty-Something Musings as Quarter-Lifer doesn’t really fit anymore now that I’m out of my twenties and midway into my thirties.

In 2021, I married my best friend. My boyfriend, now husband, mentioned engagement in late 2019 not wanting to steal the thunder of my cousin’s wedding that year. The goal was to seriously move into engagement in 2020. And then…the pandemic happened. He tried to propose at the end of 2020 again, and I didn’t have the heart to be engaged while the world was still in chaos and vaccines were not available to all yet. We ended up discussing rings in March 2021, and then, due to nerves he ended up proposing mid year.

A month before we got married, his granny fell and broke ribs and slowly began her journey of life with dementia. A best friend of mine gave me grief and was very rude to me and I ended up asking her to not come and be part of my bridal party. We had to plan a wedding in 3 month’s time due to dates available and raised costs in 2022. And despite those challenges? We had the best time.

Even though we dated for such a long time and did premarital counseling, a few months in we dealt with some really hard things that surfaced and realized we were two very independent and not always complimentary people with past hurts and traumas that needed change to see our marriage succeed. We started couple’s therapy and started seeing bigger pictures and how our family units shaped us for better and for worse. We’ve now graduated couple’s therapy and are stronger for it and continue to do work on our own with separate therapists. I cannot recommend it enough even though it can be costly.

We started out our married life in the cutest little apartment complex that was miraculously under market for the area. There were only 12 units there, all one bedrooms, and 2 washers and dryers in the laundry center for all of us. We got to know quite a few of them and had a great sense of community. I still chat with several of them today. After our first year and a half there, the owner got greedy and hiked our rent up nearly 10%. We also started to wonder if upstairs living in a one bedroom without central air was ideal if we ended up growing our family in the next year. After lots of searching, a perfect opportunity we had not expected fell into our lap.

We ended up moving back to my hometown and living with a relative until they finished a program and moved back to their state. His departure was more sudden than we expected and it was rough taking over a whole house but we’ve managed. We now rent a nice starter home for probably wayyy too much of what we bring home but still a great deal for the area. I’ve enjoyed growing a garden and having more room to spread out. My husband found a good job with better pay in town and we feel pretty plugged in here. His brother unexpectedly moved out and now lives in town too! I’ve had the chance to practice hospitality and am attempting to host our first Thanksgiving with both side of the family coming over (wish me luck)!

We’re now approaching our second anniversary and my heart is overwhelmed with how much we’ve grown and worked at bettering our marriage and selves and at how much we’ve been blessed in this short span of time. I can’t wait to hug him and tell him, we did this. We’re at such a sweet part of life. No kids, no mortgage, nothing much to our names, but happy and feeling we are where we are supposed to be. I’m so grateful God has blessed us with steadiness. It’s been a very rough health year and my anxiety has been through the roof, so steady and same has been so assuring for me.

Marriage is exactly an ongoing sleepover with your favorite weirdo. Whoever made that up is right on. It’s a starts little bit like dating but they are always there and you somehow grow to love them more even when annoyed with them. It’s a lot not like dating after the honeymoon period is done and when things are rough and you have to do gritty work and bend to each other especially as adults with full professional and social lives and independence coming together to share a space. But, all in all, it’s so nice to come home to your person knowing it’s not the walls, but person, that feels like home.